I know… “Mark My Words,” but this is my method of assisting you in seeing what I saw… learning what I saw, and hopefully getting your marks all in the correct places… working for you… not against you.
Marks?
It’s true that getting through life undamaged is a difficult endeavour. Now, unscathed may have a different meaning for you than it does for me… I mean, we all have different viewpoints on things like quality of life, appropriate therapy, attainable goals, and even how eager each of us is to achieve something in this life. We may even aim to achieve a specific level of comfort, leave a legacy, leave our mark on society, or simply follow the simple standards you and I follow in our lives.
As we go through the days, weeks, and years of our lives, we encounter circumstances that leave us wounded… pained, scarred, and sometimes overprotective and scared. These imprints on our lives don’t seem to mind whether they have a physical, emotional, or spiritual effect on us…
Things take place.
We retaliate.
Scars, pain, and anguish endure.
Now consider this: these markings influence our judgments, have an impact on our plans, and guide our inner being without our knowledge. It appears that it is what makes us, us… what gives us our character… what affects our every decision.
Me? I was distinguished by an eerie disgust, hate, and cautious apprehension of abandonment as a result of childhood traumas. Remember, I said ‘was’!
No… I was never left on anyone’s doorstep, thus I have no idea who my family is.
No… I had never been rejected by my family out of anger, disappointment, or even basic selfishness.
Yet, as I approached my 60th birthday, I realised how deeply scarred I was by childhood experiences, scenarios, and ‘life.’ Things, events, and happenings that instilled in me a calm “I never want this to happen” sensation… As I entered my early adulthood, I quietly worked and planned my life in order to enhance my chances of never having to go through that again… ever! Despite having a relatively happy, healthy, and ‘fun’ childhood, I had scars, scars, and phobias. I’ve been protecting that portion of my heart… my spirit… my life for the past 40 years or more.
In October of 2017, I returned home from work to find a Dear John letter, a mostly empty house, and a devastated and disheartened betrayal… Eight days later, legal divorce papers were filed (not eight business days, either). I’m sure we’ll never truly understand what people are thinking or why they do things that contradict our own ideas, beliefs, and agreements to a “civilly lived existence.” We will no longer be “seeing through a glass darkly,” as the Bible says, once Jesus returns and we receive our new bodies. We will have a lot better knowledge.
This is NOT a story about poor Bill, who has been dumped… Rather, this event (mark on my life) and so many others in my life have taught me that no matter how pure your heart is (OK… in my case… a desire to be pure-hearted), how honourable your intentions are, or how passionately you strive to ‘do unto others as you would have them do unto you,’ there are events in your life that will leave marks… that will leave you with a knee-jerk reaction when any future event that you perceive to be similar comes along. There have been (or will be) experiences that have scarred, jolted, or even stopped you dead in your tracks of faith… of confidence in the Lord… And it very likely derailed, if not completely ended, your relationship with the Lord… one of those “I give up” sentiments.
This is more of a narrative to help you recognise that you will stumble, trip, fall, and crash-n-burn along your journey of God’s will in your life. Too often, we are consumed with the need to leave a legacy or make our mark on the world… to leave it better than we found it. Sure, it’s a noble attitude… but it’s clearly flawed!