Do you have a reputation for being the go-to person in times of need? You’re always cool, collected, and confident, even when faced with adversity. As a result, people know that when they come to you for help, you’ll be there for them, ready and willing, and able to find solutions to their problems, all the while providing them with comfort and reassurance.
What about you, though? Who is there for you when things get tough and you need someone to lean on?
– Would you be surprised if people learned that you have bad days? If that’s the impression people get of you, they might interpret you as someone who never needs anything and never has a “down” day. When things go wrong or don’t go according to plan, are you able to calmly assess what needs to be done next? There’s no drama here; just a sober assessment of the current state of affairs and what steps need to be taken to restore order. As a result, people assume that you’re in good health, relaxed, and able to cope.
In order to avoid appearing weak or incompetent to others, it may be that you’re a private person who prefers to keep your emotions hidden from the outside world. It’s actually not uncommon for people to be pleased or even delighted to see a little vulnerability in someone they admire. It humanises them and gives others the chance to reciprocate and be helpful in return, which is a good thing.
– Check to see if you put on a “I’m tough, I’m coping, leave me alone” facade when things get tough. Because of your hostile or belligerent behaviour when things go wrong, others may learn to leave you to deal with the situation alone. It’s important to show gratitude and respect when someone offers to help you. Even if you decide not to accept their offer, be courteous and say “thank you” for their time and effort.
Doing everything yourself may not always be the most efficient method of operation. Your time will be better spent if there are tasks that can be delegated so that you can focus on more important matters. Sharing the burden with your coworkers helps them feel appreciated, boosts their self-esteem, and allows you to take a break and recharge your batteries.
In a business setting, there are numerous ways to delegate responsibility for your well-being to others. Allowing others with greater expertise to handle more specialised tasks like accounting, web design, public relations, and advertising frees up your time so you can focus on more important things. Doing so increases the chances of achieving the best possible results. It’s often a good investment in your well-being to hire domestic help for tasks like cleaning, gardening, and ironing, because it gives you more free time to relax and enjoy your home.
Learn to express your gratitude to those who have taken care of you. Take a moment to appreciate the small acts of kindness, such as having your bath run for you after a long day at work, or having a drink made for you without your permission, or having your meal prepared for you. When you express gratitude to others, they are more likely to take care of you. It demonstrates your appreciation for their thoughtfulness and attention. In the long run, a more balanced dynamic in the relationship can be achieved by gradually altering your approach.
– However, ultimately, it is up to you to take care of yourself. The expectation that others will take care of us, take care of our health and education and provide us with guidance and structure in our lives is a common one that many of us have learned from childhood. As we grow older, it becomes increasingly important to pay attention to our own health and well-being, as well as to our diet, exercise, fluid intake, and sleep hygiene. Taking care of our mental and emotional well-being is just as important as taking care of our physical well-being.
The more confident you appear, the more people will respond to your level of self-confidence. As long as you are assertive, confident, and comfortable saying “no” when necessary, others will follow your lead. Then you’ll find that they’ll automatically put more effort into the relationship and be more willing to look after you, as they grow to appreciate you more and more.
An experienced South Manchester counsellor and hypnotherapist who specialises in helping couples work through their relationship issues, Susan Leigh is also a published author and media contributor. She specialises in working with individuals, couples, and corporations, as well as conducting workshops and providing support.